I'm leaving early tomorrow morning to say goodbye to one of the most amazing women I have ever known. One of my very best friends, Paula, has lost her battle with cancer. Words simply cannot express how devastated I am that this world will not have her in it. I can't begin to comprehend how her children are ever going to know how wonderful she was and what they meant to her. Paula's family was everything to her and I hope that those of us she left behind can remind Hannah and Peyton of that every day. My biggest fear is that they won't have any real memories of her but I hope that we can be there on their special days to tell them funny stories about her and the things she used to love doing with them. The plane ride to Raleigh will be a tough one, but once I am there, I will be lucky enough to be surrounded by some of my closest friends and we can get through the day together. Although it will be comforting to see them and be with them, I just can't imagine us sitting in our hotel room without her there alongside us. I miss her giggle and her soft voice. I miss all of her little quick witted remarks- the best ones were the ones that hit you later, or the ones where you had to check her face to see if she was serious or not. I believe something inside of Paula knew that she wasn't meant to be here forever, as much as she wanted it not to be true- she knew. She lived her life differently and saw beauty in things that most people missed. She soaked every experience up and remembered everything. I will forever be sorry that I didn't get to say goodbye to her, that I didn't get to talk to her one last time. But I will never pass a Chick-Fil-A without thinking of her sweet tea. I will never be able to pass up a Red Vine at a movie theater, and I will never... EVER be able to eat a banana popsicle with a straight face.
I love you, my PK. Rest in peace and please watch over us all. Remind us each and every day how lucky we are to be here and how lucky we were to know you.
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